My break-up guide

I hate break-up guides.

I looked up the 30 day break-up guide that Jen mentioned, and it annoys me.

Read a favorite book, The Babysitter’s Club. Is that the last time you read a book? Fifth grade?

Call your dad. What, you were so obsessed with the boyfriend that you forgot about the man who you should depend on?

On day seven, box his crap up. That should have been gone already.

I get it, sometimes you need to be reminded to love yourself, but this culture of dating advice and break-up advice and he’s just not that into you, what books out there do you see dudes reading? They’re not being told to get a new do and cook dinner. And certainly not while reading a bright pink book with an ice cream carton on the front.

And THE RULES. Those witches want $300 an hour to give you a makeover, because your appearance is why you can’t find love. So they will create you a diet plan, dye your hair blonde, and recommend plastic surgery. It’s all on their website.

Why do you want to be with someone who only wants a Barbie, anyways?

My question is, if I’m not supposed to talk to him for thirty days, but after seven I box his stuff up, when do I actually give it back to him? Cause the point is supposed to be that after 30 days, I won’t want him in my life anymore. But I’m still stuck with all his crap. I know, I know, mail it, whatever. That’s expensive. I vote keep it, there’s a reason why I stole it in the first place, and because it was comfy.

I’ve been through several break-ups, including an engagement, and still have decent to great relationships with all of my exes. Granted none of them were psychos and I am more likely to kill them than they were of me, but that speaks to something, right?


About CCTgirl

Just a crazy girl taking MARTA.
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One Response to My break-up guide

  1. Tine says:

    You could just put the box of stuff through a wood chipper. ;p

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