Disparities

Jenny and I went shopping.

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And yes, that is a basket full of dental hygiene products. Does Jenny have jacked up teeth and bad breath? No. Jenny has a date with a dentist.

Dating is not a gender equitable sport. I’m not a gambling kind of girl, but I would bet that The Dentist did not go out and spend upwards of $100 on beauty aids, get anything waxed, or went shopping for a date outfit with his bff. I’m sure they did not sit around and debate her merits, look up her exs on Facebook, and ponder who should make the suggestion for dinner options. Is it the guy’s job to plan the date? What if he doesn’t live in Atlanta but is coming into town? The guy’s supposed to make the plans for a first date, but what if he doesn’t know your area? Who the hell makes up these rules, anyways?

To be fair to Jenny, I am just as neurotic. I tried on different outfits for my first date with the Camera Dude and sent her pictures on my phone. But this is what we do. Girls stress over looking our very best, making sure our smile is perfect, and that we show just the right amount of cleavage to look sexy, but not easy. I am pretty sure Camera Dude did not plan coordinating jewelry. I’m not sure he noticed that I did, either.

So we advance on to date #2 and now I’m stuck trying to figure out a cute outfit to wear to a museum, something adorable, trendy, artsy, but comfortable, and Jenny has another day or two to determine which shell to go underneath her blazer. To all of my married friends who met their husbands in college, screw you. Screw all three of you, Tine, Steph, and Beccers, Mrs. MyHusbandsAfraidPoopWillGetOnHisClothes. At least us single girls get to spend way more time shopping.

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About CCTgirl

Just a crazy girl taking MARTA.
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6 Responses to Disparities

  1. bec says:

    hey now, in my defense, if i hadn’t met my husband in high school, i’m pretty sure i’d be single, living in paris, smoking too many cigarettes and drinking too much wine while contemplating the purpose of my desolate existence and screwing tattooed guys named pierre. but my god, the shopping!

    • CCTgirl says:

      That makes me feel inadaquate in my singleness. I should move to Paris.

      • bec says:

        oh shut up. personally, i think it sounded a bit pathetic. plus, if you moved to paris, i would never see you.

      • CCTgirl says:

        A tad pathetic, but a tad awesome. Living in Paris hanging around cafes and being swooned by men? Remove the contemplating the purpose of desolate exististence and it sounds like the plot line for a best selling book and movie.

  2. Jenny says:

    Shockingly, I was running late. When he got here I had to swoop some product through my hair, put on mascara, and switch purses. So technically, I was only about 5 minutes late. But guess what I forgot to put in my purse? The $29 worth of Wisps (portable, one-time-use toothbrushes that don’t require water for those of you not in the know) and breath mints that I purchased on our excursion on Thursday. I had NOTHING to sweeten my breath during the date with the dentist. Later that night he confessed that one of his hygientists slipped him a little bottle of Listerine “just in case.” He told me that he didn’t use it, which makes me think that the man secretes flouride instead of saliva. Anyway, I figured that he would have some bitchin’ breath mints or gum or something so I asked for one after dinner. Trident, bubble gum flavor. I know, really? Anyway, he did apparently fall victim to a pre-date fashion summit because he works in an office with one other dude (the other dentist) and 11 women. He was counseled on whether or not to bring flowers and what type, and one of the hygientists even told him to text her during a bathroom break to update her on how it was going : ) So while guys may not do this amongst themselves, if they work with enough women, they are infused with a healthy dose of neuroticism to level the playing field. Adorable Confession of the Evening: He knew the guitarist in the band we went to see and asked if they were including anything smooshy in their set that they could dedicate to a girl he was bringing to their show. They apparently forgot to give us a shout out, but it was the thought that counted. And got him a good-night kiss : )

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