I spend a lot of my time worrying if I did something to bring this year on myself. It’s been a hard one, a sucky one, and I can’t help but to think this is karma kicking me in the butt. So maybe there’s a guy in my past I haven’t been upright to, but I’m so bad at telling people that I’m not interested. Maybe it’s because of having to give my kitty up. But this? Do I deserve this whole year? And my poor Daddy? And losing my great-grandmother?
I’ll give up my bike to karma. I’ll give up my car and that perfect job to karma too. But this year has been too much. I’m not in the Christmas spirit at all. I’ve not put up any decorations and the only present I bought was for Moira. I jsut can’t bring myself to consider anything else. I wish I could think of something for Dad.
I’m ready to see 2011.